Probably worth me noting down the weight changes over the last few months and most importantly giving myself a record of how they made me feel.
Back in early October I was a fraction under eleven and a half stones but after a month off from watching what I ate, and to a large extent running, I'd put a stone on. Early November to early December arrested the progress and I managed to lose 4lbs but switching off again for Christmas meant I hit the new year comfortably over 13 stones. January was hit and miss (mainly miss) and by the time I got into the second half of February I peaked at 13st 8.6lbs - over 2 stones heavier than the autumn.
Aside from the numbers on the scales, what were the results?
- Most of my clothes no longer fitted, so I had a pretty restricted wardrobe
- I had to spend about £100 on 'temporary' clothes
- If I looked in the mirror I saw belly, love handles, fat legs
- I also saw a disappearing face and hated it
- I was low on energy
- I didn't feel flexible or athletic
- I'd started to plod up stairs rather than run
- I was subconsciously looking for ways to take the easy way i.e. car
- I felt embarrassed to meet people that I hadn't seen for a couple of months and tried to avoid it
- I felt embarrassed to talk about myself as a runner as I felt I no longer looked like one
- I felt pretty low
You might think seeing and feeling that way would have jolted me into action but it was almost the opposite. I couldn't run, I was worried about needing an op, frustrated that I wasn't getting the problem diagnosed quickly let alone addressed, felt bad at the effects of the weight gain etc. Add to that the usual worries and winter and it wasn't easy.
Whilst I'd have a day or days where I stuck to my weight loss calories I was just as likely to have a day where I ate badly and then compounded it with 5/6 chocolate bars and a big bag of sweets, even though I'd reached the point in early January that I was absolutely sick of them.
I'd provide enough material for a psychologists conference.
Still, I turned a corner towards the end of February. More on that later.