Yesterday was back on track.
I know why the previous couple of days had been difficult and unsuccessful so I'm happy to just put them behind me - I'm not worried that they're indicative of some more deep seated issue.
That's good as I had a gnawing doubt that perhaps taking pressure off myself in terms of weight and timescales was just a way of making failure more palatable. Not so. It was just 'life' and as soon as the problem was over I was able to get back on track. That's not something that has always been the case when obsessing over weight and rate of progress when a couple of 'off days' meant a fear of getting back on the scales and led to prolonging any stress induced blips by simply changing the cause of the stress.
Yesterday gave a belated first run of the week: 5 miles from home, downhill on the way out and uphill on the way back. It was a run carried out with no particular aim or plan other than a wish to run at an easy 8:00 to 8:30 pace. First mile was well on track at 7:56 but after that I had a couple of difficult miles in the September sunshine that I'd put down once again to poor hydration (something I need to address as routine as its previously been a strength of mine). I slowed down and the sun went in and gradually things began to feel easier leading to a pleasing last uphill mile at 8:12 and an on track average of 8:21. The last mile was especially good simply because it felt 'right' - smooth and efficient. I probably ought to do a bit of hill training over the autumn.
Yesterday was also a landmark for me: my first ever attendance at a gym class. I've always shied away from these. I've got good balance but struggle to copy 'moves' very quickly and I'm self conscious of that fact, probably compounding it. However, the physio suggested Pilates might be good for me so I attended a beginner's class yesterday and got on OK.
There were only 6 of us and the instructor went round each of us pointing out faults and aside from my feet rising off the floor as I lay back (difficult to explain) nothing was said to me so I assume that meant I was OK. I suspect that might be the case as I have learned to engage and hold the core muscles and much of the posture is identical to that suggested in Chi running (in fact...more on that in a later entry I think) so I had some experience of that too.
Even that first session was taxing enough for me to think 2-3 sessions a week could well be a real benefit, particularly as my ability to keep up with core exercises at home still proves pretty variable at best.
Friday, 10 September 2010
Thursday, 9 September 2010
A mighty torrent of mental effluence
Its said that a key feature of goal setting is that of time: if you don't set a time limit or a target date then you won't push yourself and may not reach your goal at all.
I've been thinking about this the last couple of days. Not all the time you understand. That would be weird and a bit scary. Like Jimmy Saville.
I digress.
The thought process started on Monday when I looked back at the weekend's highs and lows. I knew - even without feedback from the scales - that Tuesday to Friday had been good. I could see it in the mirror and I could 'feel' it, but Saturday and Sunday evenings I'd over eaten. That didn't bother me too much. I decided there were specific circumstances (Saturday's meal out and theatre, and Sunday's race) that made my actions understandable or perhaps just 'normal' and I rather revelled in that lack of pressure or guilt that the scales normally induced. I decided that was a healthy way to be and something I might benefit from taking further still.
Having reached that conclusion I then thought about goal setting, as taking such a laissez faire attitude provides goal setting challenges - no time limit and no pressure.
At the moment my (vaguely) specific goal is/was to reach about 11st by about mid/late November, in time for one last tilt at a PB in a 10k race then. The lack of knowing the start point weight wise is one reason for the vagueness but it rests on a rough idea of where my weight was likely to be and a 1.5 - 2.0lb a week rate of loss.
By necessity though, that meant I wouldn't be near target for the other races I had planned - something I'd aimed for since the spring. Does that matter? I'm not sure but its a moot point anyway - barring liposuction or amputation I won't reach 11st by then.
If they don't matter though, then does the November one?
In some respects no. Looking at the wider objectives I want to be fit and well enough to run Paris in April and to run it close to or beneath 3:30 so there's an argument that being at 11st for April is the bottom line but, working backwards, it would be preferential to have reached that rate before training starts in December (as lower weight reduces injury risk and allows a bit of leeway for Christmas excesses), and that would mean another 4 weeks available in which to reach target if I wanted/needed to use it.
However, the race time from November is probably what will determine my training intensity and target marathon time so I do want to give it a pretty decent shot.
So where does all that leave me? My mental meandering left me feeling like I'd taken a long journey but wasn't really sure I'd arrived anywhere - a feeling anyone who reads my blog entries will be familiar with.
This was probably compounded by my over eating on each of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday evenings - though again I could rationalise that to some extent and so not beat myself up too badly because of it.
I think though I've reached a conclusion of sorts:
Change my rate of loss to 1.5lbs a week to give a little more leeway to accommodate rest days or days where work/life just make restrictive calorie consumption difficult...that will have me hitting target (at a guess) in early December...i.e. before marathon training but not long after the PB attempt...meaning a PB is still very possible, nay, likely.
If anyone is still reading this does that sound like a plan? Am I thinking along sensible lines or am I on the slippery slope of having my cake and eating lots of it? Do you set very specific weight loss goals and do you adapt them over time? How does it work for you?
I've been thinking about this the last couple of days. Not all the time you understand. That would be weird and a bit scary. Like Jimmy Saville.
I digress.
The thought process started on Monday when I looked back at the weekend's highs and lows. I knew - even without feedback from the scales - that Tuesday to Friday had been good. I could see it in the mirror and I could 'feel' it, but Saturday and Sunday evenings I'd over eaten. That didn't bother me too much. I decided there were specific circumstances (Saturday's meal out and theatre, and Sunday's race) that made my actions understandable or perhaps just 'normal' and I rather revelled in that lack of pressure or guilt that the scales normally induced. I decided that was a healthy way to be and something I might benefit from taking further still.
Having reached that conclusion I then thought about goal setting, as taking such a laissez faire attitude provides goal setting challenges - no time limit and no pressure.
At the moment my (vaguely) specific goal is/was to reach about 11st by about mid/late November, in time for one last tilt at a PB in a 10k race then. The lack of knowing the start point weight wise is one reason for the vagueness but it rests on a rough idea of where my weight was likely to be and a 1.5 - 2.0lb a week rate of loss.
By necessity though, that meant I wouldn't be near target for the other races I had planned - something I'd aimed for since the spring. Does that matter? I'm not sure but its a moot point anyway - barring liposuction or amputation I won't reach 11st by then.
If they don't matter though, then does the November one?
In some respects no. Looking at the wider objectives I want to be fit and well enough to run Paris in April and to run it close to or beneath 3:30 so there's an argument that being at 11st for April is the bottom line but, working backwards, it would be preferential to have reached that rate before training starts in December (as lower weight reduces injury risk and allows a bit of leeway for Christmas excesses), and that would mean another 4 weeks available in which to reach target if I wanted/needed to use it.
However, the race time from November is probably what will determine my training intensity and target marathon time so I do want to give it a pretty decent shot.
So where does all that leave me? My mental meandering left me feeling like I'd taken a long journey but wasn't really sure I'd arrived anywhere - a feeling anyone who reads my blog entries will be familiar with.
This was probably compounded by my over eating on each of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday evenings - though again I could rationalise that to some extent and so not beat myself up too badly because of it.
I think though I've reached a conclusion of sorts:
Change my rate of loss to 1.5lbs a week to give a little more leeway to accommodate rest days or days where work/life just make restrictive calorie consumption difficult...that will have me hitting target (at a guess) in early December...i.e. before marathon training but not long after the PB attempt...meaning a PB is still very possible, nay, likely.
If anyone is still reading this does that sound like a plan? Am I thinking along sensible lines or am I on the slippery slope of having my cake and eating lots of it? Do you set very specific weight loss goals and do you adapt them over time? How does it work for you?
Monday, 6 September 2010
Weekend woes to weekend wonders
It occurred to me on Saturday morning that a subtle change in approach had taken place.
When weighing daily the results on the scales would warp my self image so that, for example, if I appeared heavier than expected I would look in the mirror and see a flabby physique whereas if the scales suggested loss or that I was ahead of target I'd be happy at how lean I looked. To some extent the mirror maybe did reflect the scales but not to the extent I felt.
Now, starved of weight feedback, I have to look more carefully but perhaps what clues I find are all the more reliable. So, on Saturday morning I felt my stomach certainly looked pretty flat, I felt I looked a little less flabby and was pleased to find when putting on jeans that I've gone back to the tightest notch on the belt.
Mind you, the second half of Saturday might have undone some of that!
I did a short (2.6 mile) jog with a few strides thrown in on Saturday lunchtime and found even that to be tough, but again I suspected that I was poorly hydrated despite making more of an effort to drink more water rather than the Rooibos or 7up Zero that had been mainstays of previous days.
Late afternoon I headed to Bradford to meet the family as Charlotte's dance club had been putting on a show at the Alhambra theatre and with Saturday having both a matinee and evening performance she had 2 hours off in which we'd all eat and then watch her in the evening show.
I knew this would mean high calories as we'd agreed to walk up the hill to one of Bradford's many curry houses but wasn't too concerned as I was happy to have plenty of glycogen in the muscles ahead of Sunday's relay race. In the end I ate more than planned though - Charlotte wanted a starter so we all had (unplanned starters) then she couldn't eat much of her curry so I felt obliged to eat some of it and finally the others wanted to order a naan bread (that the particular curry house is famed for and are the size of 5/6 ordinary naans put together) and then ate very little of it so I again felt obliged to eat until full to make more of a dent in it.
The theatre also contained challenges. Its custom to get sweet and/or an interval ice cream and I ended up with my very own over priced box of Smarties, though mercifully no ice cream. On getting in I had 2 pieces of unnecessary toast.
Yesterday, I needed to meet at the running club at 12:30 so Peter (my team mate) and I could sort out transport and logistics, and then was due to run about 1:50pm. I had a bowl of Special K in the morning along with many, many drinks of water and was thankful that it appeared to be breezy and overcast outside.
By 1:30 that had changed to sunny with occasional breaks and it felt warm as we stood and waited.
Bang on time the preceding pair came in, I took the baton and off we went.
I knew the route very well for the first 3.5 miles and by the end of that section, and for a half mile beyond, we averaged 8.0 minutes a mile. I was pleased with that. Not that it was particularly fast but I hadn't run much, it was an undulating route and it was hot and sunny (with all clouds now having gone). Moreover, I'd seen the team's performance from the last 2 years and knew that our leg had taken 1:28 and 1:25 and so an average pace of 8.30 and 8.50. We seemed well ahead, although Peter my team mate had warned that the second half is tougher than the first.
He was right. As we crossed the Harewood estate at the 4 mile marker we left some shady woods and set off through a gate and up a steep rough track. I'd ran the reverse in a trail race and thought there would be 1/4 mile uphill followed by 1/3 mile flat before we reached the road. In the end it was a full mile of uphill by the end of which Peter was a fair way further back.
As part of the relay rules the pair have to finish together so there's no point in one getting too far ahead of the other. For the most part I'd ran 5-10m ahead so far acting as a sort of pacemaker and Peter, who hadn't done too much serious training for a few months, was able to hold on to what, at that stage, felt a comfortable pace to me.
The end of the uphill was marked by the busy A61 and sod's law being what it is we arrived about 2 seconds too late to run straight across and had to wait well over a minute eventually finding a half gap to sprint through in the two streams of traffic.
The hill and the crossing, along with the 2 gates meant we'd lost a fair chunk of time but mile 5, along a trail once more, wasn't far from 8.0 minute pace despite containing 3 more gates.
The gates became a very regular feature from there on and one of the reasons why we steadily lost time. If running together a gate would mean 10 seconds lost in stopping, opening and closing but typically I was a little ahead so I'd stop, open and wait but the net loss would be about the same. Some gates were more difficult though. There was one that had been tied together with twine half way down so we spent 10/15 seconds working this out and then had to climb over (probably losing half a minute), at another a horse rider had opened it and left it for us to close but having not opened it we couldn't see where it closed again giving an additional 15 seconds or so before we figured that it just hooked onto some barbed wire.
As well as the gates there were a few stiles to clamber over and all these obstacles (I'd guess at 4-5 per mile from mile 6) took time and disrupted rhythm.
They weren't the only challenge. By mile 6 we had other problems. The heat, for me, had become quite oppressive and whilst being fully hydrated when we set off and getting a cup of water at 7.5 miles I flagged a bit in the last two and realised later from colour and frequency of toilet trips that I'd got dehydrated again. Navigation was also an issue. Peter knew the route but I didn't so he tended to shout an instruction for where the next turn was but there were times when I'd need to stop and beckon back for guidance and two occasions where I took a wrong turn in one case assuming a gate was the one we wanted and another where I turned left about 5m too early and merrily headed off on the wrong track before being called back.
The other issue was the hills. There were some downhill sections but the uphills seemed longer. There were two uphill road sections that were steep and baking, including 1/4 mile to the finish, but two that skirted recently ploughed, rocky fields stick out for their length and gradient, and by the end of one of these I felt shattered struggling to get back into rhythm quickly on the short flat section that followed.
The downhills too seemed difficult. Firstly there appeared to be fewer and they were shorter but they frequently seemed to take place over rough ground or on narrow twisting paths regularly punctuated by stiles or gates and so giving limited opportunity to speed up and make up some time.
By 9 miles I felt less able or inclined to be a pacesetter as the lack of recent running began to take it's toll on me and in the last mile we were often running together again and in the end we finished in 1hr 27 mins - pretty much on track with the last 2 year's performance. Bearing in mind the weather and our recent running history I think we did OK.
Immediately after I felt fine but after an hour I was shattered - very much like the aftermath of a gruelling long run feeling tired, hungry yet not hungry (difficult to explain that one)and by 7.45pm I was struggling to stay awake as I lay on the bed reading.
Happily though I felt no groin pain during the run nor since and even the back/piriformis pain and Achillies pain that have greeted me on getting out of bed most mornings of late don't seem evident today. That being the case I feel pretty good about things.
When weighing daily the results on the scales would warp my self image so that, for example, if I appeared heavier than expected I would look in the mirror and see a flabby physique whereas if the scales suggested loss or that I was ahead of target I'd be happy at how lean I looked. To some extent the mirror maybe did reflect the scales but not to the extent I felt.
Now, starved of weight feedback, I have to look more carefully but perhaps what clues I find are all the more reliable. So, on Saturday morning I felt my stomach certainly looked pretty flat, I felt I looked a little less flabby and was pleased to find when putting on jeans that I've gone back to the tightest notch on the belt.
Mind you, the second half of Saturday might have undone some of that!
I did a short (2.6 mile) jog with a few strides thrown in on Saturday lunchtime and found even that to be tough, but again I suspected that I was poorly hydrated despite making more of an effort to drink more water rather than the Rooibos or 7up Zero that had been mainstays of previous days.
Late afternoon I headed to Bradford to meet the family as Charlotte's dance club had been putting on a show at the Alhambra theatre and with Saturday having both a matinee and evening performance she had 2 hours off in which we'd all eat and then watch her in the evening show.
I knew this would mean high calories as we'd agreed to walk up the hill to one of Bradford's many curry houses but wasn't too concerned as I was happy to have plenty of glycogen in the muscles ahead of Sunday's relay race. In the end I ate more than planned though - Charlotte wanted a starter so we all had (unplanned starters) then she couldn't eat much of her curry so I felt obliged to eat some of it and finally the others wanted to order a naan bread (that the particular curry house is famed for and are the size of 5/6 ordinary naans put together) and then ate very little of it so I again felt obliged to eat until full to make more of a dent in it.
The theatre also contained challenges. Its custom to get sweet and/or an interval ice cream and I ended up with my very own over priced box of Smarties, though mercifully no ice cream. On getting in I had 2 pieces of unnecessary toast.
Yesterday, I needed to meet at the running club at 12:30 so Peter (my team mate) and I could sort out transport and logistics, and then was due to run about 1:50pm. I had a bowl of Special K in the morning along with many, many drinks of water and was thankful that it appeared to be breezy and overcast outside.
By 1:30 that had changed to sunny with occasional breaks and it felt warm as we stood and waited.
Bang on time the preceding pair came in, I took the baton and off we went.
I knew the route very well for the first 3.5 miles and by the end of that section, and for a half mile beyond, we averaged 8.0 minutes a mile. I was pleased with that. Not that it was particularly fast but I hadn't run much, it was an undulating route and it was hot and sunny (with all clouds now having gone). Moreover, I'd seen the team's performance from the last 2 years and knew that our leg had taken 1:28 and 1:25 and so an average pace of 8.30 and 8.50. We seemed well ahead, although Peter my team mate had warned that the second half is tougher than the first.
He was right. As we crossed the Harewood estate at the 4 mile marker we left some shady woods and set off through a gate and up a steep rough track. I'd ran the reverse in a trail race and thought there would be 1/4 mile uphill followed by 1/3 mile flat before we reached the road. In the end it was a full mile of uphill by the end of which Peter was a fair way further back.
As part of the relay rules the pair have to finish together so there's no point in one getting too far ahead of the other. For the most part I'd ran 5-10m ahead so far acting as a sort of pacemaker and Peter, who hadn't done too much serious training for a few months, was able to hold on to what, at that stage, felt a comfortable pace to me.
The end of the uphill was marked by the busy A61 and sod's law being what it is we arrived about 2 seconds too late to run straight across and had to wait well over a minute eventually finding a half gap to sprint through in the two streams of traffic.
The hill and the crossing, along with the 2 gates meant we'd lost a fair chunk of time but mile 5, along a trail once more, wasn't far from 8.0 minute pace despite containing 3 more gates.
The gates became a very regular feature from there on and one of the reasons why we steadily lost time. If running together a gate would mean 10 seconds lost in stopping, opening and closing but typically I was a little ahead so I'd stop, open and wait but the net loss would be about the same. Some gates were more difficult though. There was one that had been tied together with twine half way down so we spent 10/15 seconds working this out and then had to climb over (probably losing half a minute), at another a horse rider had opened it and left it for us to close but having not opened it we couldn't see where it closed again giving an additional 15 seconds or so before we figured that it just hooked onto some barbed wire.
As well as the gates there were a few stiles to clamber over and all these obstacles (I'd guess at 4-5 per mile from mile 6) took time and disrupted rhythm.
They weren't the only challenge. By mile 6 we had other problems. The heat, for me, had become quite oppressive and whilst being fully hydrated when we set off and getting a cup of water at 7.5 miles I flagged a bit in the last two and realised later from colour and frequency of toilet trips that I'd got dehydrated again. Navigation was also an issue. Peter knew the route but I didn't so he tended to shout an instruction for where the next turn was but there were times when I'd need to stop and beckon back for guidance and two occasions where I took a wrong turn in one case assuming a gate was the one we wanted and another where I turned left about 5m too early and merrily headed off on the wrong track before being called back.
The other issue was the hills. There were some downhill sections but the uphills seemed longer. There were two uphill road sections that were steep and baking, including 1/4 mile to the finish, but two that skirted recently ploughed, rocky fields stick out for their length and gradient, and by the end of one of these I felt shattered struggling to get back into rhythm quickly on the short flat section that followed.
The downhills too seemed difficult. Firstly there appeared to be fewer and they were shorter but they frequently seemed to take place over rough ground or on narrow twisting paths regularly punctuated by stiles or gates and so giving limited opportunity to speed up and make up some time.
By 9 miles I felt less able or inclined to be a pacesetter as the lack of recent running began to take it's toll on me and in the last mile we were often running together again and in the end we finished in 1hr 27 mins - pretty much on track with the last 2 year's performance. Bearing in mind the weather and our recent running history I think we did OK.
Immediately after I felt fine but after an hour I was shattered - very much like the aftermath of a gruelling long run feeling tired, hungry yet not hungry (difficult to explain that one)and by 7.45pm I was struggling to stay awake as I lay on the bed reading.
Happily though I felt no groin pain during the run nor since and even the back/piriformis pain and Achillies pain that have greeted me on getting out of bed most mornings of late don't seem evident today. That being the case I feel pretty good about things.
Saturday, 4 September 2010
Saturday update
Thursday's run was tougher than expected and got progressively slower from the 3rd to 6th mile, and I didn't feel there was a whole lot I could do to prevent that. It was along the canal so flat barring the set of locks (pictured a few posts below) so it shouldn't have been difficult but it was still warm and sunny and I suspect (judging from the colour of my wee after!) that I was poorly hydrated.
Still, I've had enough bad runs not to be worried and overall 8.0 minute miles was OK considering I'm a little out of shape.
Yesterday included a trip to the physio to get some advice on groin, Achilles and back. It was to a new physio as the original is on maternity and her replacement has since left.
All in all she seemed to know little or nothing of the groin injury but tested my engagement of the core muscles and felt I engage them well and appear to have good strength and stability as a result. she also tested if my glutes 'fired' well and felt they did. Cautious optimism.
For the Achilles she could find no tenderness which suggested the stretching of the calves is helping but felt I had a hint of plantar fasciitis, but seemingly nothing too much to worry about.
For the back she massaged and found a fair bit of tightness but whether this was cause or effect it was impossible to say. Overall though she thought it was probably more to do with overstretching the piriformis (which figures as I'd been stretching 3 times a day rather than the prescribed once) and suggested I stick to a gentler stretch until that eases.
That all seemed a bit of a result but by lunchtime I had a little bit of groin pain, whether from the previous day's run or the manipulation at the physio I couldn't be sure but this got a little worse after 40 minutes on the cross trainer at the gym in the evening. The latter also seemed to trigger some Achilles pain which was present again this morning.
Diet wise Thursday was good again and yesterday was so so. I went over by 570 (or under by 430 depending how you view it) partly because I was home alone in the evening, partly because the bulgar wheat/quinoa based salad I made had more calories than I expected and partly because I used the http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/ estimate of calories burned on a cross trainer - which is only a third of what the machine tells me I've burned with the truth possibly lying somewhere between.
Importantly though, I logged everything meaning that know I'm still 56 under for the week!
Today I'll aim to go 'over' by about 500 again, mainly because of tomorrow's race, but can do so without a fear of what that will do to Sunday or Monday's weigh ins. In other words, its an example of how the focus on the process rather than the immediate results allows me to eat more sensibly relative to activities.
Not that a 10 mile run should really have me in need of doing anything special but recognising that I'm not in the best shape I suppose I feel I need to give myself every little bit of help!
So, today's plan is to tentatively restart the core stability work, go for a 3 mile jog with a few strides thrown in, go out for a curry early evening and make sure I drink water regularly throughout the day particularly as the forecast for tomorrow is disappointingly 21/22c and sunny.
Still, I've had enough bad runs not to be worried and overall 8.0 minute miles was OK considering I'm a little out of shape.
Yesterday included a trip to the physio to get some advice on groin, Achilles and back. It was to a new physio as the original is on maternity and her replacement has since left.
All in all she seemed to know little or nothing of the groin injury but tested my engagement of the core muscles and felt I engage them well and appear to have good strength and stability as a result. she also tested if my glutes 'fired' well and felt they did. Cautious optimism.
For the Achilles she could find no tenderness which suggested the stretching of the calves is helping but felt I had a hint of plantar fasciitis, but seemingly nothing too much to worry about.
For the back she massaged and found a fair bit of tightness but whether this was cause or effect it was impossible to say. Overall though she thought it was probably more to do with overstretching the piriformis (which figures as I'd been stretching 3 times a day rather than the prescribed once) and suggested I stick to a gentler stretch until that eases.
That all seemed a bit of a result but by lunchtime I had a little bit of groin pain, whether from the previous day's run or the manipulation at the physio I couldn't be sure but this got a little worse after 40 minutes on the cross trainer at the gym in the evening. The latter also seemed to trigger some Achilles pain which was present again this morning.
Diet wise Thursday was good again and yesterday was so so. I went over by 570 (or under by 430 depending how you view it) partly because I was home alone in the evening, partly because the bulgar wheat/quinoa based salad I made had more calories than I expected and partly because I used the http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/ estimate of calories burned on a cross trainer - which is only a third of what the machine tells me I've burned with the truth possibly lying somewhere between.
Importantly though, I logged everything meaning that know I'm still 56 under for the week!
Today I'll aim to go 'over' by about 500 again, mainly because of tomorrow's race, but can do so without a fear of what that will do to Sunday or Monday's weigh ins. In other words, its an example of how the focus on the process rather than the immediate results allows me to eat more sensibly relative to activities.
Not that a 10 mile run should really have me in need of doing anything special but recognising that I'm not in the best shape I suppose I feel I need to give myself every little bit of help!
So, today's plan is to tentatively restart the core stability work, go for a 3 mile jog with a few strides thrown in, go out for a curry early evening and make sure I drink water regularly throughout the day particularly as the forecast for tomorrow is disappointingly 21/22c and sunny.
Friday, 3 September 2010
Brief toilet based update...
It seems that 150ml of beetroot juice is not limited in its vivid colour changing capacity to liquid toilet offerings...
Thursday, 2 September 2010
Psycho-babble - AKA I have pink urine & don't know how much I weigh...
Seriously.
This risks being a highly self indulgent post. You have been warned.
As I get a few days into a bad nutritional week I begin to dread getting on the scales again. I just don't want to confront the 'damage'. It might sometimes even delay my putting an end to a bad episode or binge.
However, in the end I dismiss the feeling and confront the scales. Sometimes the damage is less than expected and sometimes more but in either case I then focus fully and carefully monitor the changing figures each day thereafter. There's always then a high as water retention and 'food in transit' are banished providing a swift but arguably false weight loss, followed by a more challenging period when the scales become less predictable or even. Or, at least that's how I thought it went.
This time getting back on the waggon was harder. I was carrying three injuries so the usual response of immediately upping exercise levels wasn't such an obvious outlet and I probably feared the scales all the more because of it. Moreover, I felt a failure.
So, rather than dismissing this scale phobia as emotional weakness, as I normally might, I sought to rationalise both the feeling itself and seek to see if it was an indicator of a wider problem.
After several hours of subconscious mental rumination I came to the conclusion that the previous approach was far from proven. I stuck to the usual approach because I told myself it was successful and felt secure in a structured and consistent response, but whilst I could rightfully claim to be (about) 45lbs lighter than my heaviest I'm also (about) 20lbs over my eventual target. Moreover, the previous approach should have had me reaching my target after about 34 weeks but here I am around 295 weeks on from starting my (if you'll excuse the nauseating expression beloved of those in the colonies) 'weight loss journey'...
My immediate response to this realisation was that I needed to take a radically different approach. Ditch calorie counting completely and totally clean up my diet perhaps?
But that was missing the point. Calorie counting works for me. Cleaner eating makes it work better perhaps but the bottom line is that calorie counting itself has always worked. What has gone wrong is that I haven't been able to stick to it for truly sustained periods.
That brought me back to the scales. For about 3 years now I've weighed if not daily then certainly very frequently. When I've been in the groove in terms of diet and exercise its been daily and when I've slipped up I've consciously avoided the scales.
When I considered this I realised the figure on the scales might have been a hindrance as much as help - if the numbers were kind I was tempted to treat myself to a day off which sometimes became a week, and if the numbers were harsh it was easy to feel demoralised and turn to food.
If the scales ever truly demonstrated it was simply a very approximate reflection of my adherence or otherwise to staying within calorie limits but in doing so they provided a potentially damaging distraction from the fundamental: the weight loss process itself.
This was dangerous, seditious thought and my conservative mind (I'd like to stress the very, very small 'c' there) retorted: if a major reason for losing weight is to run faster than surely the numbers on the scales ARE important? And how can I judge if I'm being successful or not if I don't know where I started or where I am.
There's merit to both points but the fundamental aspect is the process: if I consume 7,000 calories a week less than I expend then I will lose around 2lb. Whether I stand on a set of scales every day, every week or not at all won't make any difference to that. Process & time equals result and as long as I lived consistently by that maxim I would lose weight and get faster.
Ergo, I decided I wouldn't weigh myself until the end of the month but I would log my consumption and exercise fully every day and trust that that would deliver results away from the distraction and damage of the scales.
As a result I haven't got a clue how much I weighed when I got back on the horse, how much damage had been done or what changes there may have been in the first three days back - and that really does feel kind of liberating.
Oh, and the pink urine? I bought a bottle of beetroot juice...
This risks being a highly self indulgent post. You have been warned.
As I get a few days into a bad nutritional week I begin to dread getting on the scales again. I just don't want to confront the 'damage'. It might sometimes even delay my putting an end to a bad episode or binge.
However, in the end I dismiss the feeling and confront the scales. Sometimes the damage is less than expected and sometimes more but in either case I then focus fully and carefully monitor the changing figures each day thereafter. There's always then a high as water retention and 'food in transit' are banished providing a swift but arguably false weight loss, followed by a more challenging period when the scales become less predictable or even. Or, at least that's how I thought it went.
This time getting back on the waggon was harder. I was carrying three injuries so the usual response of immediately upping exercise levels wasn't such an obvious outlet and I probably feared the scales all the more because of it. Moreover, I felt a failure.
So, rather than dismissing this scale phobia as emotional weakness, as I normally might, I sought to rationalise both the feeling itself and seek to see if it was an indicator of a wider problem.
After several hours of subconscious mental rumination I came to the conclusion that the previous approach was far from proven. I stuck to the usual approach because I told myself it was successful and felt secure in a structured and consistent response, but whilst I could rightfully claim to be (about) 45lbs lighter than my heaviest I'm also (about) 20lbs over my eventual target. Moreover, the previous approach should have had me reaching my target after about 34 weeks but here I am around 295 weeks on from starting my (if you'll excuse the nauseating expression beloved of those in the colonies) 'weight loss journey'...
My immediate response to this realisation was that I needed to take a radically different approach. Ditch calorie counting completely and totally clean up my diet perhaps?
But that was missing the point. Calorie counting works for me. Cleaner eating makes it work better perhaps but the bottom line is that calorie counting itself has always worked. What has gone wrong is that I haven't been able to stick to it for truly sustained periods.
That brought me back to the scales. For about 3 years now I've weighed if not daily then certainly very frequently. When I've been in the groove in terms of diet and exercise its been daily and when I've slipped up I've consciously avoided the scales.
When I considered this I realised the figure on the scales might have been a hindrance as much as help - if the numbers were kind I was tempted to treat myself to a day off which sometimes became a week, and if the numbers were harsh it was easy to feel demoralised and turn to food.
If the scales ever truly demonstrated it was simply a very approximate reflection of my adherence or otherwise to staying within calorie limits but in doing so they provided a potentially damaging distraction from the fundamental: the weight loss process itself.
This was dangerous, seditious thought and my conservative mind (I'd like to stress the very, very small 'c' there) retorted: if a major reason for losing weight is to run faster than surely the numbers on the scales ARE important? And how can I judge if I'm being successful or not if I don't know where I started or where I am.
There's merit to both points but the fundamental aspect is the process: if I consume 7,000 calories a week less than I expend then I will lose around 2lb. Whether I stand on a set of scales every day, every week or not at all won't make any difference to that. Process & time equals result and as long as I lived consistently by that maxim I would lose weight and get faster.
Ergo, I decided I wouldn't weigh myself until the end of the month but I would log my consumption and exercise fully every day and trust that that would deliver results away from the distraction and damage of the scales.
As a result I haven't got a clue how much I weighed when I got back on the horse, how much damage had been done or what changes there may have been in the first three days back - and that really does feel kind of liberating.
Oh, and the pink urine? I bought a bottle of beetroot juice...
Wednesday, 1 September 2010
So far, so good.
I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things.
Yesterday I logged my food intake and stayed within target - in each case for the first time in nearly 2 weeks. In the evening I did my first run with the club in around 7 weeks. 5.4 miles ran at a very conservative pace with the slower runners but importantly no groin pain.
Not that I think I'm out of the woods on that front. Far from it - I still get the odd twinge and haven't done any core exercises since the 20th August - but its still progress and tomorrow I'll begin to do core exercises again. Bear in mind that the physio felt I would be ok to run and even race as long as I kept up the exercises, its just that I'm starting to keep up from tomorrow...
The back pain is no better nor worse than since Sunday. It feels tight when I first get out of bed but eases with movement and doesn't seem to impinge on running at all. I'm hopeful that it'll just get better slowly but on Friday I have a physio appointment to double check and get some advice on both back and achilles pain (did I mention that yesterday?). Whether I did or not, that's slowly easing too, presumably thanks to the calf stretching I've been doing the last few days.
I stuck to calorie target again today despite it being a rest day. That's good too.
Plan for the remainder of the week is to run again tomorrow, go to the gym Friday (but probably only for cardio) then rest once again on Saturday.
Are you impressed by my steady, level headed, conservative approach to getting back in the swing of things and not over stressing a recently injured and as yet not fully recovered body?
If so, then be content and read no further.
(As I've also agreed to run a leg of the Leeds Country Way relay on Sunday - a little over 10 miles cross country. Sorry.)
Yesterday I logged my food intake and stayed within target - in each case for the first time in nearly 2 weeks. In the evening I did my first run with the club in around 7 weeks. 5.4 miles ran at a very conservative pace with the slower runners but importantly no groin pain.
Not that I think I'm out of the woods on that front. Far from it - I still get the odd twinge and haven't done any core exercises since the 20th August - but its still progress and tomorrow I'll begin to do core exercises again. Bear in mind that the physio felt I would be ok to run and even race as long as I kept up the exercises, its just that I'm starting to keep up from tomorrow...
The back pain is no better nor worse than since Sunday. It feels tight when I first get out of bed but eases with movement and doesn't seem to impinge on running at all. I'm hopeful that it'll just get better slowly but on Friday I have a physio appointment to double check and get some advice on both back and achilles pain (did I mention that yesterday?). Whether I did or not, that's slowly easing too, presumably thanks to the calf stretching I've been doing the last few days.
I stuck to calorie target again today despite it being a rest day. That's good too.
Plan for the remainder of the week is to run again tomorrow, go to the gym Friday (but probably only for cardio) then rest once again on Saturday.
Are you impressed by my steady, level headed, conservative approach to getting back in the swing of things and not over stressing a recently injured and as yet not fully recovered body?
If so, then be content and read no further.
(As I've also agreed to run a leg of the Leeds Country Way relay on Sunday - a little over 10 miles cross country. Sorry.)
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